Form DNR-404
ST Joe's Computer Hospice
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Do Not Resuscitate
Comfort care only. No forced reboots. No “have you tried turning it off and on again.”
This certifies that Dell OptiPlex ’09is hereby admitted to palliative care at ST Joe's Computer Hospice.
- • No heroic last-minute Windows Updates
- • No third-party “PC cleaner” rituals
- • Fans may spin gently until the power LED fades
- • Final SMART reading optional; tissues provided
Issued July 16, 2026. Witnessed by Fr. Joe, Staff Tech-Priest. Sorry your time is up.
Patient
Dell OptiPlex ’09
Authorized by
Next of Kin (USB)