Main lobbydirectory
Rm 102 · Five stages of griefFront entrance
denialcache clearbargainingbattery warningacceptance
Pastoral care
Five stages of grief
Walk the path every owner knows. Finish with a shareable stage diagnosis.
Opening pastoral care…
ST Joe's Computer Hospice · Wayfinding
More wards
You are here · Main lobby17 rooms
Acceptance achieved? Issue a DNR or start a vigil.
Intake & Triage
Level 1Sign in · assessment · on-call
Paperwork Wing
Level 1Forms · certificates · excuses
- Rm 110DNR certificateFormsName the machine. Download a screensaver.Enter room →
- Rm 111Discharge papersFormsReleased against medical advice. Still won't boot.Enter room →
- Rm 112Doctor's noteExcusePlease excuse OptiPlex — terminal Windows Update.Enter room →
- Rm 113Certificate packBundleAdmit → DNR → discharge → condolence. Full send-off.Enter room →
Chapel & Ceremony
Level 2Quiet hours preferred
- Rm 201Memorial wallChapelLast words, candles, Patient of the Week.Enter room →
- Rm 202Power-LED vigilChapelQuiet glow for machines in transition.Enter room →
- Rm 203Condolence cardChapelWe're sorry for your OptiPlex. Shareable preview.Enter room →
- Rm 204Last ritesCeremonyName + OS → a short eulogy for the group chat.Enter room →
Family Services
Level 2Visitors · retail · recreation
- Rm 210Visiting hours bingoVisitingMark symptoms. Bingo unlocks Code Beige.Enter room →
- Rm 211Family conferenceConferenceShould we upgrade? Every path converges on hospice.Enter room →
- Rm 212Gift shopRetailUSB urns and BSOD mugs. Checkout fails spiritually.Enter room →
- Rm 213Ward soundboardAudioFan spin-down, HDD click, XP shutdown, hold sting.Enter room →
Administration
BasementHR · not Joe 3
Quiet hours · no forced firmwareEmergencies: ST Joe's AI (corner) · Code Beige
Select a room number to enter · elevators not guaranteed