Main lobbydirectory
Rm 213 · Ward soundboardFront entrance
soundboardfan spin-downclick of deathXP hymn
Audio ward
Ward soundboard
The greatest hits of machines in transition. Click responsibly.
Audio ward
Ward soundboard
Click a pad to play. Unmute the browser tab if you hear nothing. Neighbors not consulted.
Tap a pad — audio unlocks on first click.
ST Joe's Computer Hospice · Wayfinding
Other rooms
You are here · Main lobby17 rooms
Enter another room — or hit Main lobby to return to the directory.
Intake & Triage
Level 1Sign in · assessment · on-call
- Rm 101Is it time?IntakeClinical flowchart. Miracle boots, Best Buy shame, ICD-PC stickers.Enter room →
- Rm 102Five stages of griefPastoralDenial through Acceptance — then a shareable stage diagnosis.Enter room →
- Rm 103Call DoctorOn-callIVR, hold music, Care+ cut-ins, voicemail to /dev/null.Enter room →
- Rm 104Waiting room camLobbyLive-ish power LED feed and a ticker of fake patients.Enter room →
Paperwork Wing
Level 1Forms · certificates · excuses
- Rm 110DNR certificateFormsName the machine. Download a screensaver.Enter room →
- Rm 111Discharge papersFormsReleased against medical advice. Still won't boot.Enter room →
- Rm 112Doctor's noteExcusePlease excuse OptiPlex — terminal Windows Update.Enter room →
- Rm 113Certificate packBundleAdmit → DNR → discharge → condolence. Full send-off.Enter room →
Chapel & Ceremony
Level 2Quiet hours preferred
- Rm 201Memorial wallChapelLast words, candles, Patient of the Week.Enter room →
- Rm 202Power-LED vigilChapelQuiet glow for machines in transition.Enter room →
- Rm 203Condolence cardChapelWe're sorry for your OptiPlex. Shareable preview.Enter room →
- Rm 204Last ritesCeremonyName + OS → a short eulogy for the group chat.Enter room →
Family Services
Level 2Visitors · retail · recreation
Administration
BasementHR · not Joe 3
Quiet hours · no forced firmwareEmergencies: ST Joe's AI (corner) · Code Beige
Select a room number to enter · elevators not guaranteed